A Former Soldier Struggles with PTSD
By Anthony Garcia JGSM '09
Issue date: 5/1/09 Section: Features
I have post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from two separate one-year tours in Iraq. Not everyone who serves in the military suffers from this.
When I got out of the Army in 2007 I knew I had PTSD. I was a functional alcoholic for most of 2006, but I was fortunate to eventually get temporary help. I had it under wraps, well at least I thought I did prior to school, but it came back. In fact it came back pretty damn hard last fall. I almost dropped out of school. I experienced a depression like nothing before. I hated who I was. I hated having the memories I had from almost being killed, seeing death so often and guilt for how I treated my soldiers. I finally battled it through after hitting bottom. I was lucky. I had a great roommate, friends and family who supported and understood what I was going through. I again started to seek help from a great psychologist (Gannett) and finally worked through my issues the way I should have the first time.
I'm doing so much better now and feel blessed to be where I am. I guess the point of this is to explain there are hundreds of service men and women leaving the military each day. They will be joining the private sector like me and some of our fellow classmates. They will have unique experiences that I believe require special consideration. Bellow is something I wrote last year while sitting in Starbucks. It kind of explains what I went through. Mainly just random thoughts I had that day. It kind of explains what goes on in my head from time to time:
February 23, 2008: Starbucks College Town
I'm a Dustoff pilot and officer. I have over 1000 hours in a Blackhawk, most of which are pilot commander and combat. I belonged to a Dustoff helicopter company. Dustoff was the designation given to the medical helicopter companies in Vietnam. Once you're Dustoff, you will always be Dustoff, until you die; you are forever a part of a group of guys and girls who have dedicated a part of their lives to save others.
When I got out of the Army in 2007 I knew I had PTSD. I was a functional alcoholic for most of 2006, but I was fortunate to eventually get temporary help. I had it under wraps, well at least I thought I did prior to school, but it came back. In fact it came back pretty damn hard last fall. I almost dropped out of school. I experienced a depression like nothing before. I hated who I was. I hated having the memories I had from almost being killed, seeing death so often and guilt for how I treated my soldiers. I finally battled it through after hitting bottom. I was lucky. I had a great roommate, friends and family who supported and understood what I was going through. I again started to seek help from a great psychologist (Gannett) and finally worked through my issues the way I should have the first time.
I'm doing so much better now and feel blessed to be where I am. I guess the point of this is to explain there are hundreds of service men and women leaving the military each day. They will be joining the private sector like me and some of our fellow classmates. They will have unique experiences that I believe require special consideration. Bellow is something I wrote last year while sitting in Starbucks. It kind of explains what I went through. Mainly just random thoughts I had that day. It kind of explains what goes on in my head from time to time:
February 23, 2008: Starbucks College Town
I'm a Dustoff pilot and officer. I have over 1000 hours in a Blackhawk, most of which are pilot commander and combat. I belonged to a Dustoff helicopter company. Dustoff was the designation given to the medical helicopter companies in Vietnam. Once you're Dustoff, you will always be Dustoff, until you die; you are forever a part of a group of guys and girls who have dedicated a part of their lives to save others.
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