Cornell Business

Issue date: 10/1/09 Section: Features

So, one of my roommates moved into our shared abode today (name withheld for confidentiality). In case he was hungry, I offered him leftovers from the chicken and stuffing I had baked the day before, that sat in the fridge in an aluminum pan covered with plastic wrap. When his appetite struck him a few hours later, he proceeded to place the entire ensemble, aluminum and all, in the microwave, nearly frying the poor appliance and short circuiting the entire block. Luckily, my other roommate caught the would-be calamity and intercepted-frantically informing our new housemate that metal is not microwave-safe.

After witnessing my roommate's appalling helplessness in the kitchen, his emaciated appearance was suddenly explained, and I was overcome by pity and a zeal to help others who may be in similar situations. So here's my contribution to the kitchen-impaired at the Johnson School: when blizzards and glaciers (or laziness) stand in the way of you and Collegetown Pizza, or when the Campusfood.com's servers go down, I leave you equipped with my personal, step-by-step recipes that even an aluminum-foil-microwaver can follow.

Cheaper-Than-CTB Tuna Salad

1 can tuna
2 teaspoons mayonnaise
1 teaspoon relish
1 teaspoon finely chopped onion
1 lemon
1/4 teaspoon each, salt and pepper

Drain excess water from tuna. Cut the lemon into quarters, and squeeze the juice from one of the wedges into a bowl. Combine the rest of the ingredients, and mix well. Use in sandwiches or with crackers. Don't microwave (or your house will smell like a fish fart for the next week).

I-Made-It-All-By-Myself Mini Pizza

1 package white pita bread
1 package mozzarella cheese, shredded
3 tablespoons spaghetti sauce, any variation
choice of toppings: pepperoni, veggies, anchovies, or whatever floats your boat
garlic powder to taste (optional)

This is a great way to create quick and easy pizzas at home. Pre-heat oven to 450 degrees. Spread the spaghetti sauce over the pita, leaving a margin at the edges so you have some crust. Sprinkle with mozzarella-a small handful usually does fine, but you can add more depending on your affinity for cheese. Add toppings of your choice, and sprinkle with a bit of garlic powder if desired. Place in oven on a sheet of foil paper or cookie sheet and bake for 12 minutes or until done. Makes 1 pizza.

World's Easiest Chicken Parm (for 2)

2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 package Shake n' Bake (or you can use bread crumbs)
2 eggs
1 1/2 cup spaghetti sauce, any variation
1/2 cup mozzarella cheese
PAM or other cooking spray
crumbled Parmesan cheese
salt and pepper to taste

This sounds fancy, but it's simple. Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees. Sprinkle the chicken breasts with salt and pepper. Beat the eggs in a bowl. Take a large sheet of foil, or a cookie sheet or other baking dish, and spray with cooking spray, and set aside. If you're using Shake n' Bake, place the crumbs in the bag that comes in the package; if you're using bread crumbs, you can place those in any large zip-lock bag or other small plastic bag (or even a plastic container with a lid). Taking one chicken breast at a time, quickly dip in egg mixture, then into crumbs, and lay on greased foil or cookie sheet. Now spread the spaghetti sauce over each of the chicken breasts, and place in oven to bake for 22 to 25 minutes. Remove from oven, and sprinkle with mozzarella cheese, and put back in oven for 2 to 3 additional minutes to melt cheese. Finally, sprinkle with crumbled Parmesan cheese. If you're feeling really fancy, you can also sprinkle some basil and/or oregano. You can serve this with any kind of boiled pasta. Google for cooking instructions.

Easy Breezy Ice Cubes

1 ice cube tray
water

Fill each square (or rectangle) in ice cube tray with water, being careful not to over fill (this causes ice cubes to conjoin). Place in freezer on a flat surface-tilting will cause uneven ice cubes to form. Freeze overnight.

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